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Everything starts somewhere,
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although many physicists disagree.
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There is the constant desire to find out where,
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where is the point where it all began?
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But much, much later than that
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the Discworld was formed.
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Drifting onwards through space
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atop four elephants on the shell of a giant turtle
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the great A'tuin.
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It was sometime after its creation
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when most people forgot
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that the very oldest stories at the beginning are
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sooner or later
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about blood.
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At least, that's one theory.
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The philosopher Didactylos has suggested an alternative hypothesis:
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things just happen, what the hell.
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And so our story begins in Ankh-Morpork
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the twin city of proud Ankh and pestilent Morpork
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the biggest city in Discworld.
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A city, where magic is just another job
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and where the Tower of Art of the Unseen University for wizards
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looms over all the dark, narrow streets.
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Our story begins on a mid-winter festival
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very remarkable similarity to your Christmas.
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And so... it was the night before Hogswatch.
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...and then Jack chops down what's the world's last beanstalk
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adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement
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and trespass charges already mentioned,
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and all the Giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore.
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But he got away with it and lived happily ever after
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without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done.
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Which proves that you can be excused just about anything
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if you're a hero
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because noone asks inconvenient questions.
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And now, it's time for bed.
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-Susan!
-Yes?
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You know last week we wrote letters to the Hogfather?
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-Yes?
-Well, did he really got them?
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And when's he coming here?
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Does it matter, if you get the presents anyway?
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Yes.
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Well, if you don't believe in the Hogfather, there won't be any presents.
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Thought so.
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But while children everywhere sleep fitfully in the belief
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that a jolly, fat man is about to deliver their presents,
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not necessarily everyone is entering into the Hogswatch spirit.
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Especially in a city where there is a guild for everything.
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Khm!
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The doors are locked, the windows are
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