CD #11
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Okay, so check this out.
2
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Let's say a space alien
landed in my own town.
3
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If he was 16 years old,
he would go to my high school.
4
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and let's face it,
his life would probably suck.
5
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Everyone would make fun
of his giant head and his big bug eyes.
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He'd be an outcast, a loner.
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Definitely a virgin.
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There'd be nothing
he could do about it,
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except wait for his spaceship
to take him home.
10
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I didn't have a spaceship.
11
00:00:35,966 --> 00:00:38,973
And each year of high school
was worst than the last.
12
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But all of that was about to change.
13
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Because right before my junior year,
14
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I got my braces off.
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You're gonna need to stop
licking your teeth like that,
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it's distracting to look at.
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I just can't get enough
of how this feels,
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I mean, they're really gone.
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Yeah, well, open up.
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We don't need any hash browns
cutting our million dollar smile.
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This is my Mom.
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Three years earlier,
she resigned as President of the PTA,
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because she wanted to focus
on normalizing me.
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Even though I didn't always think
she knew what she was doing,
25
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sometimes, I kind of got cut up.
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If I was a girl of your age...
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Gary, you know what?
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I should drive him down to Milwaukee.
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Have him visit
one of those modeling agencies.
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- Really?
- That's not a bad idea, Franny,
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you know they take all kinds.
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Stan Parker's kid just did a print ad
for Home Depot.
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That's a year of college.
34
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My Dad had a good job.
35
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But he was always looking
for a new way to make money.
36
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Which is why we were breeding
6 alpacas in our backyard.
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Okay, hon.
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Here you go.
39
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Look at you.
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This is gonna be your year.
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The only thing crazier than my mom
pumping me up like that
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was the fact that I believed it.
43
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But that's what made
the dates between us so special.
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Justin, you're doing it again.
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I was?
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You're doing it like all the time,
by the way.
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This is my little sister Claire.
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My Mom says part of my job
is to make sure she's doing okay.
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Like I don't have enough to deal with.
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Claire! Oh, my
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